A Tale of Two Email Inboxes: Find Your Own Digital Peace

Jessica Globe
Jul 1
4 min read

Updated: Jul 2

Woman at her desk looking at her computer, holding a notebook open with one hand. — Photo by Ivan Samkov

Most people would say Stella (inbox: 23,000+ unread) and Otis (inbox: zero) are digital opposites. Yet they want the same thing: a life where technology supports their life instead of controlling it.

Stella and Otis (names changed) are my clients. They have different personalities and organizational styles, but they’ve both found digital peace on their own terms.

They felt trapped by one-size-fits-all systems that didn’t work for them. Marie Kondo’s KonMari Method. David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD). Systems that are great for some people. Terrible for others.

There’s no one right way to be intentional online. Stella’s endless inbox can be just as functional as Otis’s empty one. What matters isn’t the system. It’s finding what works best for you.

Stella’s Digital Storage Unit

To an outsider, Stella’s inbox looks chaotic. But there’s a method to her mailbox.

Her ADHD went undiagnosed for years. She thought something was wrong with her and used to berate herself for being “messy.” Now she understands how her brain works.

Those 23,000 unread messages don’t bother her. She knows what to prioritize. And she likes the dopamine hit from opening email each morning. It gives her the boost she needs to work on challenging tasks later in her day.

Why it works for her:

past info is one search away
she intuitively knows what matters
no time spent organizing

The downsides:

sometimes messages get missed
switching systems would take forever
unwanted newsletters fill her inbox

Otis’s Digital Desert

An empty inbox might seem extreme to some, but to Otis, it creates a calm mind.

Otis used to be a rigid perfectionist. Now he clears his inbox once a week because he likes it that way — not because he feels like he has to. Visual clutter breaks his focus, so he treats his digital space the same way.

Why he loves his system:

less mental and visual clutter
better focus
he rarely misses important messages

The drawbacks:

unread messages can derail him
sometimes wishes he kept deleted emails
requires weekly maintenance

Otis and Stella’s brains work differently. And their systems reflect that.

If they swapped inboxes, Otis would get anxiety headaches from information overload. Stella would refresh obsessively, then disappear down a YouTube rabbit hole.

Neither is right. Neither is wrong. And there are countless options in between.

Signs Your Digital Life Isn’t a Match

Email is just the beginning. Sarah and Otis's approaches reflect how they handle everything digital - from social media to photo storage to notification settings. Their inboxes are windows into their entire relationship with technology.

So how do you know if your digital approach actually serves you? Or if you're forcing yourself into someone else's system?

you dread opening certain apps but can’t stop yourself
you complain constantly about your screen time
you keep trying the same fix, hoping for different results
your goals gather dust while you scroll
you feel hopeless, purposeless, or defeated

Creating Your Own System

Start with these questions:

What email systems have you tried that failed? Maybe GTD felt like a straightjacket. Maybe an unmanaged inbox gave you anxiety. List them.

Why didn’t they work? Too rigid? Too loose? Required skills you don’t have? Be honest.

What would feel effortless? Or try this: What’s the exact opposite of what failed before?

What are you scared people will think about your new approach? That it’s not a system at all? That it’s too strict?

Why might it work anyway? Because it matches how you actually think, work, and live (duh).

Found this framework helpful? Apply it to other areas of your digital life: photos, social media, online shopping, etc.

Permission to Find Your Way

Often, we adopt strategies that don’t fit because a well-meaning expert promised it would fix everything. When they fail, we don’t question the system. We blame ourselves.

There must be something wrong with me. I should be able to figure this out. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough.

We force ourselves into systems that don’t fit instead of asking: What would feel simple to me?

Here’s your permission slip: Do it your way.

The world’s “best” system becomes your worst nightmare when it doesn’t match how you function. Yes, trying something different feels radical. But when you find what fits, you’ll wonder why you waited so long.

In Summary

There’s no universal solution — Sarah’s 23,000 unread emails work as well as Otis’s inbox zero
Your “failures” aren’t failures — They’re clues that you’re using the wrong system
Different brains need different systems — What’s natural for you might seem radical to others
Permission granted — Stop forcing yourself into frameworks that don’t fit, you’ll be glad you took the leap
The only metric that matters — Does your system help you live the life you want?