The Friction Framework: 5 Types of Friction That Successfully Break Pesky Digital Habits

Photo from Pexels.

My couch used to feel like a black hole.

After work I’d sit down and lose entire evenings to YouTube and Facebook. Deep down, I wanted to achieve my childhood dream of being a published author. But I felt powerless to stop the scroll.

What hurt the most wasn’t social comparison or missed connections. It was my disappointment and shame that I couldn’t follow through on my creative ideas.

Things changed in 2019 when I discovered digital minimalism. That year, I published a book and started to change my relationship with tech. Now I look forward to digital detoxes and phone free days.

Most people think breaking their tech addiction requires discipline. But willpower gets weaker as the day goes on. 

I’ve got a better solution.

After six years of digital minimalism and helping dozens of coaching clients achieve their goals, I’ve learned that successful people don’t rely on willpower alone. They use systems that make mindless scrolling harder and intentional choices easier.

When you add strategic friction to the apps and websites that drain you, you create space for community, creativity, and purposeful projects that matter to you.

What is The Friction Framework?

Let’s take a brief detour back to grade school science class with Newton’s Laws of Motion.

You probably remember the first law: “A body remains at rest, or in motion at a constant speed in a straight line, unless it is acted upon by a force.” Friction is one such force.

You can use friction to your advantage when it comes to your digital habits.

By friction, I simply mean putting strategic barriers in place that create resistance and make mindless digital habits less effortless.

Think of it like adding speed bumps.

Tech companies have done everything they can to reduce friction (think endless scroll, push notifications, and your phone fitting in your pocket). But friction helps you resist the pull.

If you depend on your phone, (like most of us do), you might worry about depriving yourself. But regaining your time and attention is actually the opposite of deprivation. It’s enriching. Delightful. Refreshing.

Friction creates space for the things you’re longing for: 

• deeper connection and stronger community

• turning creative ideas into finished projects

• improved mental health and wellbeing

• more productivity and better outputs

• better focus not just at work but with your family

• more time for the things you care about

• regained energy for volunteering and speaking out

• reconnecting with your spiritual path

Phones hijack our dopamine systems, but that digital buzz feels hollow compared to real connection, creative work, or meaningful experiences.

The Friction Framework allows you to work with your brain instead of against it. We’ll explore five types of friction: Environmental, Software, Mental, Social, and Alternative.

The science behind why willpower flops

Throughout the day, every decision you make (from what to wear to what emails to respond to) slowly drains your mental energy.

This process, called decision fatigue, explains why you can resist your phone all morning but find yourself mindlessly scrolling at 9 PM.

Willpower operates like a muscle: it gets tired with use.

That’s why you’re more likely to abandon your healthy habits as the day progresses, reaching for junk food and doomscrolling before bed.

Even when your prefrontal cortex is at its best, tech companies know the exact button to push to keep you on their platforms.

The good news is these strategies work with or without willpower.

When you create systems in advance, you’re not relying on your 9 PM brain to make good choices. The choices are already made for you.

Environmental Friction: Change your physical space

Your environment shapes your behavior more than you might think.

During the Vietnam War, many US soldiers used heroin. The government braced for an addiction crisis when troops returned home.

Surprisingly, nearly all the soldiers quit heroin without treatment once they left Vietnam. The addiction was tied to the environment and other factors, not just the substance.

The same principle applies to phone habits. Change your environment, and you can break the automatic patterns that keep you scrolling.

If you’re planning a move, that’s perfect timing for new digital habits. But you don’t need to relocate to change your space.

Simple ways to change your environment:

• charge your phone outside the bedroom

• leave your phone in the car for social outings

• put your phone in a drawer while working

• use a lockbox for deeper focus sessions

• create device-free zones in your home

When I started putting my phone in my desk drawer, it significantly improved my focus.

Seeing bread rise, a new row of crotchet stitches, or hitting the next 1000 words, is one of the best feelings. You feel unstoppable. Proud. Light.

That simple change made me realize how often I subconsciously reach for my phone anytime I’m feeling bored, uncertain, or tired.

It’s within reach for emergencies and two factor authentication, but opening the drawer makes me think twice about mindless scrolling during deep work, which means I’m more productive and more satisfied.

Software Friction: Fight fire with fire

A few changes to your phone’s settings can break the allure of your phone. This type of friction comes into play when you do need to use your phone but you don’t want to let it take over.

Grayscale

If you take nothing else from this article, try this. It’s the simplest way to spend less time on your phone because it works on your brain’s reward system without requiring any willpower. 

Colors (especially red notification badges) grab your brain’s attention. Remove the colors = remove the dopamine hit.

Learn how I overcame my resistance to grayscale and why it’s great here.

Move the app

Know which app gets your goat? Delete it and use the desktop version instead, or simply move the app to a different spot on your phone. 

You’ll be amazed how many times you tap the empty space where Instagram used to live. Darn you muscle memory!

Get all 7 phone settings that reduce dependency here.

Use an app blocker

Some devices have app and website blockers built in (check Screen Time on iPhone or Digital Wellbeing on Android). Or you can use a third party app like RescueTime or ColdTurkey. I’m not affiliated with either of these companies.

See whether your app blockers are protecting the right hours here.

Social Friction: Creating community accountability

Humans are social animals. That’s why breakups, being ghosted, and being disliked feel so painful.

For our ancestors, not fitting in actually meant life or death. That ancient wiring still drives us today, so you can use it to break your habits.

We’re stronger together

When I finally deleted Facebook, I did it with my husband and my father in law. (I attempted to quit a few times on my own without success.)

Instead of feeling like a weird, isolating decision, it became a moment of solidarity. When I missed Marketplace or felt left out of friends’ updates, I had people who understood. 

That shared commitment kept me from opening a new account during weak moments.

Modeling behavior

If you’re a parent, your digital habits are the biggest predictor of your child’s digital habits.

This can be daunting and highly motivating.

Every time you choose presence over your phone, you’re teaching your kids that people matter more than notifications. It’s never too late to start modeling the behavior you want to see.

Beware of public declarations 

There’s a difference between telling one trusted person and announcing your goals to everyone. 

One-on-one accountability creates genuine support. 

Public declarations backfire. Your brain gets a premature reward announcing the goal, making you less likely to follow through. 

Tell a close friend about your digital detox, but skip the Facebook post about it.

Mental Friction: Jedi mind tricks and aligned values

With a few environmental and software tweaks, you’ll start getting your time, focus, and peace back. But you can make your efforts even more effective with mental friction.

Melt it with Mindfulness

This tip sounds way too simple…but it work.

With smokers, this technique was shown to be 5x more effective than another common protocol for people who want to quit.

Here’s how it works:

1. Choose a habit you want to quit. (Like… checking email constantly, binging Netflix, impulse buying on Amazon, doomscrolling Reddit)

2. Curiously observe how it feels while doing the habit (without trying to change it or beating yourself up.)

3. That’s it!

Curiosity is your secret weapon. Instead of fighting against the habit, you become a scientist studying your own behavior.

When you observe without judgment, you start noticing patterns: Does scrolling Instagram make you feel connected or hollow? Does checking email at 10 PM solve problems or create anxiety? Your brain will connect the dots between the habit and how crappy it makes you feel.

Digital habits often numb us to our feelings. This practice helps you feel them again. 

Viscerally feeling the consequences is way more motivating than guilt or pressure.

Focus on Your Values

Avoiding digital habits is only half the equation. What’s the point of reclaiming time if you don’t know what you want to do with it?

Ask yourself:

What am I actually looking for when I reach for [my phone, instagram…]?

What’s neglected when I spend my time online?

You might get on Instagram because you feel lonely or shop online because you’re (ironically) anxious about money.

While you spend hours in front of a screen, you might be neglecting your relationships, creative dreams, or being involved in a cause you care about.

When you know what you care about, the dopamine hit from your phone feels less engaging, satisfying, and worthwhile. The bad taste it leaves in your mouth can help motivate you to stop.

That leads me to my last type of friction.

Alternative Friction: Making things you love easier

Making your unwanted digital habits harder isn’t the only way friction can help you succeed.

You can also reduce friction to make your desired activities easier.

Here’s how this works with writing as an example...

Environment

Keeping a travel notebook in your purse or pocket and a journal by your bed. Make it easy to capture your ideas when inspiration strikes.

When my husband became a comedian, we kept waterproof paper in the shower because that’s where he often got his best material. Now he can remember most ideas on his own, but while he was building that mental muscle, those shower notes captured comedy gold that would have otherwise gone down the drain.

Software

Set your computer to automatically open your writing app when you start it up.

Recently, I spoke to a writer friend who’d switched from Microsoft Word to Scrivener. They loved how easy it made organizing their chapters and character sheets. My writing app of choice is Obsidian because I love how minimalist and organized it is. Sometimes it’s not the writing itself that feels hard, but the writing tool that’s getting in the way.

Social

Join a writing group, swap stories with a friend, or get an accountability partner.

I wrote the most poetry and improved my craft when I was an English major in college. Those writing workshops with other passionate students kept me motivated to keep growing and exploring. There’s something special about being around like-minded people.

Mental

Give your brain space to think. This is the first step toward creating anything meaningful.

As technology has fragmented our attention, we’ve become less comfortable being alone with our thoughts. But for creativity, changing cultural norms, or developing a business idea, your brain is a powerful and necessary tool.

Creating Your Personal Strategy

Here’s your experiment: Pick a strategy from one of the friction categories and commit to it for one week. That’s it.

If, like me, you get excited when you learn something new and want to try All. The. Things. I want to encourage you to try just one. With clients, I encourage small consistent changes because they’re more sustainable and practical than giant overhauls in most cases.

You can always add more later. After the seven days, you’ll have a better idea what works best for you, so you can tweak as you go.

Did you find this helpful? Want to understand what’s really driving your digital habits? 

Next step: Join my free Digital Audit Masterclass! 

We’ll uncover the emotional patterns, environmental triggers, and mental loops keeping you stuck. You’ll discover why the things you tried in the past didn’t work and start creating a personalized strategy that fits your life. 

No more guessing. Just clear action steps that stick.

[Join the Free Digital Audit Masterclass]